(Most of our articles deal with spiritual and Biblical ways to cope with problems, but there are often environmental and activity-based changes you can make that will help, too. In this article, guest writer Sara Bailey shares very helpful practical advice for those finding it difficult to sleep after the loss of a loved one. - Editor)
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By Sara Bailey
Trying to sleep with grief is a double-edged sword. When you don't sleep—which is often—fatigue and emotion overwhelm your days. When you do, painful dreams haunt your sleep.
Unfortunately, no one can take your grief away for you, although therapy, support groups, and blogs about grief can help you cope. You can improve your sleep, however, and a well-rested mind is better prepared to deal with the intense emotions of grief.
Improving your sleep during times of acute grief isn't a quick-fix solution, but adopting these three simple strategies can set the stage for restful sleep.
Adopt a self-care habit
Self-care is the first thing that goes when your world is rocked by grief. It’s also the first thing you need when you have trouble sleeping.
Self-care includes basic health-promoting activities like eating well and exercising, as well as activities like meditation that help you feel relaxed and positive. Forgoing self-care allows stress to build and knocks your body out of sync.
Finding ways to nurture your body and mind lightens your grief and helps you sleep. Moving your body is especially important. When you start your day with a run, go on a long peaceful walk with your dog, or attend a fast-paced fitness class, you’re not just clearing your mind or improving your fitness—you’re actively fighting insomnia.
Redesign your bedroom
Bereaved people often experience increased sensitivity to noise and light, Funeral Zone explains. As a result, minor bedroom discomforts become magnified while you’re grieving.
If it’s in the budget, soundproof your bedroom and install blackout shades (Wirecutter names the best options). Otherwise, a sleep mask and white noise machine are inexpensive fixes for distracting lights and sounds. This is also a good opportunity to upgrade that old mattress, lumpy pillow, or threadbare bedding.
If it’s a spouse you lost, your bedroom may hold a lot of painful emotions. Even when memories are good, they can overwhelm us to the point where we can’t fall asleep. Moving your spouse’s personal effects out of the bedroom or sleeping in a guest room may be the right step.
Optimize your sleep schedule
Everyone benefits from a regular sleep schedule, but it’s especially important when you’re experiencing insomnia.
Going to bed at the same time each night trains your body to feel awake and tired at certain hours. However, a regular bedtime may not be enough to ease insomnia. To encourage tiredness at bedtime, avoid stimulating activities like watching TV or exercising too close to bedtime. You should also be mindful of what you eat and drink before bed. In addition to the usual suspects like caffeine and alcohol, the wrong foods before bed could cause gastrointestinal symptoms that disrupt your sleep.
If you keep waking up groggy but don’t know why, sleep tracking devices might be able to help. Gadgets that track your sleep can tell you how much disturbed sleep you’re experiencing at night so you can compensate accordingly. Some devices even learn the best time to wake you to reduce morning brain fog. Just keep in mind that these devices are best used to learn more about your sleep habits. They won’t solve your sleep problems for you.
Sleep loss makes everything harder—and when you're grieving someone you love, the last thing you need is for anything to be harder. Commit yourself to these three sleep improvement strategies to give your body and mind the best shot at a good night's sleep.
After losing her husband Greg, Sara Bailey created TheWidow.net to support her fellow widows and widowers. She is also the author of the upcoming book Hope and Help After Loss: A Guide For Newly Widowed Parents.
(Please note that guest writers and PeaceBrooke may not necessarily agree on other subjects outside of the scope of a published article.)