Do You Feel Purposeless and Empty? There Is a Way to Find Purpose and Fulfillment.

Today so many people are feeling purposeless and empty. If you are feeling that way, I encourage you to read on, because there is a way that you can find purpose and satisfyingly fill the emptiness inside.

Long ago, Aristotle perceived that there are four different kinds of causes which make living and non-living things come into being. Knowing your causes will help point the way to finding purpose and fulfillment.

1. Effective Causes: These are the living things and processes which cause things to come into being. According to the Genesis account in the Bible, the effective cause of human beings is God.

2. Material Causes: These are the materials something is made of. The material causes of a human being are the elements of the earth. This is why, as the book of Genesis tells us, after we die and all of the water evaporates, we return to dust.

3. The Formal Cause. This is the arrangement and form of something. For instance, your form is that of a human being, in which spirit and body (including your brain) have been intelligently designed and arranged by God to form a living soul or being.

4. Final Causes: These are the purposes for which something has been made. Obviously, only an intelligent being who is an efficient cause, or perhaps someone who is using and benefitting from a thing can tell us what its final causes are. For instance, the final causes of the Lincoln Memorial are to honor and enshrine the memory of Abraham Lincoln.

5. To this list we Christians would add one more cause, the immaterial cause. This is the immaterial spirit substance that our eternal spirits are made of.

It is number 4 above that I especially want to draw your attention to. What are your primary purposes, which Aristotle referred to as your final causes? This is also sometimes called your teleology.

In order to know what your primary purposes are, you must consult the effective cause of the human race, which is God. God is the only one who can tell us the reasons why He created us.

As Oxford math professor John Lennox has pointed out, when you pay your aunt a visit, you might think that delicious-smelling cake she just made is for you to enjoy, until she says, “I am sorry sweetie, but you can't have any of that cake because I made it for my ladies’ Sunday school class. But here, I made some cookies for you.”

When she says that, you will realize, with some disappointment, that what you thought was the purpose of that cake was incorrect. But you might have realized that yourself if only you had looked closely enough at it and seen the words “Ladies’ Night Out” written in icing on it! Likewise, you can look at your formal cause, the form in which you are made, to get some hints as to your primary purposes.

There is an important saying among engineers, architects and designers, “Form follows purpose.” Men and women have different forms and designs, and that should help us to determine our purposes, which obviously are not completely identical. Your unique talents, strengths and abilities will also give you some ideas as to the purposes God had in mind when He made you.

But many people have identified their talents, strengths and abilities and have found ways to use them, but they still feel a deep sense of purposelessness which they cannot quite identify yet. This is a red flag that they are still missing out on some very important purposes in life.

Just as it is only your aunt who can tell you all of the reasons why she made that cake, if you want to know all of the reasons why God made you, then you need to consult God Himself. Fortunately, you do not need to beg God to tell you the most important reasons why He made you, because He has already communicated these to us in His written word, the Bible. So let’s look at the very most important reasons that God has told us why He created us.

Our Primary Purpose

When asked what the greatest commandment was, Jesus replied,

“’You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’” This is the first and greatest commandment.

In regard to this, the best opportunities to love a person come when you spend time with them. We can do this the very best when we live together, work together, or do activities together with someone. God knows this, and so He made us to be temples in whom He lives, and through whom He works. Writing to Christians, the Apostle Paul wrote,

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?” -1 Corinthians 6:19

Just think about the significance of this! God made us to be living beings in whom He dwells or lives, so that we can enjoy a relationship of love with Him. What a wonderful, fascinating purpose! If you have been feeling empty, could it be because God is not dwelling in you? In this verse, the Apostle Paul specifically mentioned the third person of the triune God, the Holy Spirit. Jesus referred to the Holy Spirit as our Helper. The Holy Spirit helps us by guiding us, comforting us, healing us, and strengthening and empowering us to live for God. If He is not dwelling in you, then it is no wonder that you feel empty!

Jesus said something that sheds further light on this. He said,

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.”

Now, you must know the importance of meals back in the first century, which is when this was written, to understand the full significance of what Jesus said here. Back then, when people did not have cell phones, radios, systems, computers and TV to distract them, the conversations that took place at meals were their primary form of entertainment. This was when they took a break from their hard work to get to know, converse with, and enjoy their family and friends. So what Jesus is saying is that if you invite Him into you to live, you are going to enjoy, fellowship with, and become friends with Him. just like people do at the kind of nice, enjoyable Thanksgiving meals that make for good memories.

So we can identify our very highest purpose by what Jesus said above.

Our highest purpose is for God to dwell inside of us as our dear friend, and for us to enjoy Him, love Him and serve Him with all of our being.

If you have not invited the triune God (which is Jesus, His Father, and the Holy Spirit) to come and dwell within you, made up your mind to love Him with all of your being, and begun to experience the sweet joys of friendship and fellowship with Him, then you are missing out on your very most important purpose in life. You are not fulfilling what Aristotle would have called your primary final cause!

Our Second Most Important Purpose

But you have a secondary final cause too, and that is what Jesus called the second greatest commandment:

“And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” - Matthew 22:39–40.

Jesus also said,

“Do unto others as you would have them unto you.”

This is known as The Golden Rule. Confucious said something similar. He said,

“Don’t do anything to others that you would not want done to you.”

This is called the Silver Rule, and it is also a very important moral principle. But the way Jesus said it is so much better, because by it we can clearly see that we should love others by doing good things for them, not just refraining from doing bad things to them.

Many people manage to live by the Silver Rule, but still feel unfulfilled, because they are not living by the Golden Rule.

Lastly, Jesus also gave us a new commandment that is so important that it deserves to be ranked together with the four commandments we have already discussed.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” - John 13:34-35

Look at how God made you. What are your giftings, abilities and talents? God intended you not just to use these for yourself, but primarily to use them to love and serve others. Perhaps you already have identified your giftings and talents and are using them.

But are you using them to love, help and serve others, or just for your own happiness and fulfillment? If not, this might explain why you still feel that your life is empty and without purpose. The apostle Paul wrote,

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

If you are not doing good deeds for others with the talents God has given you, you are missing out on one your most important purposes. Even a quadriplegic can do good works by loving God, smiling, saying kind and encouraging words to others, and praying for them, so loving others lies within the reach of just about everyone.

We can therefore summarize our two greatest purposes with one simple phrase:

Love God and others, and enjoy their love.

Oh sure, you have other purposes, but do not let the less important ones crowd out these, the most important ones. In fact, it will only be when you put loving God and others first that you will discover and best fulfill your other purposes. This is why Jesus said that all of the commandments in the Law and Prophets hang upon these two commands, which are to love God and others.

So love God and others in your thoughts, words and actions, in the ways that God uniquely designed you to do it. Do this, and your life will not be meaningless or empty. Do this well, and your arrow will strike not only within the bull’s eye, but also within all of the circles that surround it.

You will have discovered and fulfilled your true purposes!

Weight Loss Tips for Christian Men

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” – 1 Corinthians 6:19 - 20

What does this mean? While the context definitely indicates that Paul has sexual immorality in mind, most Christians believe that this passage also applies in general to the care of one’s body. We as Christian men must honor our bodies as though for God. If you feel like you no longer recognize yourself and are suffering from being overweight or obese, there are ways that you can reclaim your ideal weight and thus bring more honor to Him. Peacebrooke Biblical Counseling gratefully presents the following guidance contributed by Sara Bailey to help you along the way.

Goals

Goal-setting is an important component of achieving weight loss. Quick fixes and impossible goals make it difficult to incorporate and sustain lifelong lifestyle changes. Instead, setting reasonable goals you can actually achieve, or even surpass, opens the door to instilling healthy habits. Meeting a milestone and seeing your progress provides the push you need to set another goal and then another goal. So, start small. Perhaps it’s walking four days a week for 15 minutes and consuming two glasses of water every day for two weeks. Once you hit this goal, you dial it up. Maybe you increase to walking five days a week for 30 minutes and add two more glasses of water for another two weeks. Incremental changes are the key to successful and achievable results.

Stay on top of your goals by starting a blog - with some online guidance, you can get set up over the course of a single weekend. You can even create a logo design for your blog by using a free logo maker. Not only can starting a blog help you track your progress and manage your goals, but it can also connect you with others who are attempting the same thing.

Diet

The Bible does not specifically address obesity or weight loss, although it does address self-control as a fruit of the Spirit and encourages us towards moderation. And there are many things in God’s words that lead us to believe that our health and well-being should always be a priority. In our Western culture, it is easy to make food an idol, although the Bible clearly states that gluttony is a sin. When you are trying to lose weight, it will serve you well to watch your overindulgences.

Health’s 1,350-calorie-a-day diet is a good starting point and features a number of healthy breakfasts, lunches, dinners, and snacks that will keep you full and energized throughout the whole day. This healthy eating plan is a great way to lose 15 pounds or more in five weeks when combined with exercise. But even dropping just 10 pounds can have a significant impact on your health. Losing 10 pounds can decrease your risk of heart attack, lower your blood pressure, and give you the encouragement to continue on your path to greater health.

Exercise

In addition to diet, you’ll also need to exercise if you want to beat obesity. There is no one specific exercise routine that works for everyone. Start by doing something you enjoy, whether it’s dancing, hiking, or playing sports. Likewise, experts – including those who contributed to this Harvard University research – can’t agree on exactly how much physical activity a person needs to lose weight. The general consensus is 30 to 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous exercise four to five days each week, but you can see progress with as little as 10 minutes at a pop. This could be something as simple as walking to and from work (if possible) or skipping the elevator and taking the stairs up to your office or apartment.

Mental Health

Recovering from obesity is no different than recovering from other forms of illness in that it takes a toll on your mental well-being. But if you want to fully commit to your physical health and wellness, you will also need to commit to your emotional health. Mental Health America suggests keeping a journal or scrapbook with photographs and news clippings that will keep you focused on your goals.

Celebrating healthy-living milestones like having increased cardiac endurance, flexibility, and overall energy is another great way to keep your spirits high throughout your weight loss journey. Likewise, spending time with friends and family and remaining involved in church activities is a great way to instantly lift your mood. Wherever two or three are gathered together in Him, the Lord is there amongst them; this coming together can be edifying and reinforce your strength and commitment.

Similarly, spend time in prayer. Science is coming to understand what many of us have known all along, that prayer can be a powerful tool in keeping you mentally, emotionally and spiritually strong.

Another way to boost your mental and physical health is by getting enough rest, which is necessary for your body to heal and to continue performing to its fullest potential. Remember the Sabbath is for well-being and a time for worship; make this a part of your self-care plan.

Although the journey seems long, it is possible to overcome obesity. Use the tools available to you: healthy foods, the ability to exercise, and prayer, and lean on your Christian family. You can share in His glory by honoring your body and thus the very life He has given you.

PeaceBrooke Biblical Counseling, LLC provides Christ-centered online counseling designed for men. Discover more about the services we provide by clicking here.

Where Does Your Joy Come From?

There is a shallow joy that comes from favorable circumstances. But there is a deep, strong joy that comes from the Lord. The first is like a house built on the sand that can easily be swept away by the winds, storms and waves of life. The second is like the house Jesus spoke of that has a solid foundation anchored in rock. This joy endures and cannot be swept away by circumstances.

This is the kind of joy that the prophet Habakkuk had. It saw him through, even as he and his people were being invaded and taken away as captives by the Babylonians. During this time he wrote,

"Though the fig tree does not bud

and there are no grapes on the vines,

though the olive crop fails

and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen

and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the Lord,

I will be joyful in God my Savior.

The Sovereign Lord is my strength;

he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,

he enables me to tread on the heights."

If we do not find our joy in the Lord, then it will disappear when we face difficult trials.

"The joy of the Lord is your strength," Nehemiah said.

A remarkable thing about one species of deer in Israel, is that it is able to place it’s back feet exactly where its front feet had been when climbing cliffs! This makes it less likely to stumble when climbing.

If the joy of the Lord is our strength, then even in terrible circumstances, like Habakkuk, we will have feet like a deer that is able to climb high places.

How Can We Keep Our Joy in the Midst of “Cancel Culture”?

Recently, when looking up a Bible passage to encourage a brother in Christ who was being persecuted for his faith, I noticed a connection between it and the verse that follows it that I had never seen before. Perhaps I had never noticed it because many versions of the Bible place a subtitle such as "Salt and Light" above the verses that follow it. These subject titles were not a part of the original inspired text. Usually they are helpful, because they provide a handy reference which makes it easier for us to find a passage, and they provide a break that makes reading less tedious. But sometimes they have the unfortunate consequence of preventing us from seeing the connection between two passages.

Here is the passage I was looking up to share with my brother:

"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets before you." (NIV, Matthew 5-11-12.)

And here is the subtitle and inspired text that follows it:

"Salt and Light

You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its savor, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a basket. Instead, they set it on a stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."

The connection I had never before seen was, if there is ever a time in which we are most prone to lose our saltiness or "savor,” or to stop shining our light before men, it is when we are being persecuted!

In effect, the message for us is this: Don't allow persecution to rob you of your joy, courage, or confidence in the Lord. Continue to be a witness. Continue to boldly shine the light of Jesus before those around you. Continue to share your faith and do good deeds as before. In fact, Jesus explains to us that we should be even more joyful when we are being persecuted, because God will give us great reward for enduring persecution.

Don’t lose your joy or cover up the light of Jesus within you when you are being persecuted.

Do you remember the words that Jesus spoke to the believers at Ephesus in the book of Revelation? They were enduring being persecuted for their faith, which is commendable, but despite that, Jesus had to criticize them because they were allowing this to cause them to lose their first love:

"Without growing weary, you have persevered and endured many things for the sake of My name. But I have this against you: You have abandoned your first love. Therefore, keep in mind how far you have fallen. Repent and perform the deeds you did at first. But if you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place." (NIV, Revelation 2:3-5)

These days, unbelievers are starting to call things that God has labeled as evil to be good. They are also calling things that God has declared as good to be evil. But why?

They are doing this because they want to be able to break God's commandments without any social consequence. The very existence of people who obey and teach God's commandments is a threat to them! If they can pressure you to agree with them and join them, that makes them look not so bad.

For this reason, persecution against Christians is stepping up. Right now, in the USA, Christians are being "cancelled" and accused of being "hateful" because they do not approve of things that God has declared are sinful. Imagine accusing the very people who seek to obey the command of Jesus to "love your enemies" of being haters, when it they who are trying to get us fined, fired from our jobs, and even thrown into prison! It is obvious who is really being hateful.

But they are willingly ignoring the fact that loving someone means wanting that person to stop destructive behavior. Your love for your alcoholic friend can cause you to want her to stop drinking. Your love for a friend who is destroying himself financially because of an addiction to gambling can cause you to want him to stop. Your love for a friend who is having promiscuous sex can cause you to want her to stop before she ends up with a venereal disease and a heart broken in many places.

This increasing persecution is just a sign of a world that is beginning to rebel against God. But as a result of it, many professing Christians are placing their light under a bushel and hiding it. Many people are losing their saltiness. Many are losing their joy. We must not let this happen to us. Don't lose your saltiness! Don't lose your joy; rejoice even more, because there is great reward waiting for you in heaven.

But how can we be joyful when we are being persecuted? This command to rejoice when we are being persecuted is like the command of Jesus that we should love our enemies. It is not something we can do with our own strength. Remember that love and joy are the first two fruits of the Spirit:

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." (NIV, Galatians 5:22-23)

In the midst of "cancel culture," appeal to the Holy Spirit to give you joy and a love for your enemies. Continue to love them and let your good deeds shine before men so that "they will see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."

You may be the only witness and light that some people have. The Holy Spirit will enable you to do what you are not able to do in your own strength. So be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might! As the world grows darker, people will desperately need Christians who are lights like never before.

Why You Should Seek God When You Are Young

“Remember your Creator
while you are young,
before the days of trouble come
and the years when you say,
‘I find no pleasure in them.’”
(Ecclesiastes 12:1)

How few people there are who like King Josiah of old, choose to love God with all of their heart, mind, soul and strength when they are still young! Most young people think that they will be happier if they join in with the world. To them, the ways of God seem to be old-fashioned and boring. They want to take a short-cut to happiness, so they choose what looks like an easier path. But you cannot get to the top of a mountain without climbing. What they do not understand is that the greatest pleasures are in the presence of God, for as the scripture says,

“In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” (Psalm 16:11)

The pleasures the world offers are a cheap, short-lived substitute for the pleasures God gives, for His pleasures are given “forever more” to those who seek Him.

What they fail to realize is just how much God loves us. They do not consider that the moral commandments of God were not given to oppress us. They were given to save us from pain, heartbreak, guilt and sickness.

Where does choosing an easy path to pleasure or happiness lead?

Choose the pleasures of sex outside of marriage ordained by God, and it leads to broken hearts, awful venereal diseases, raising a child as a single parent, the guilt of abortion, the constant fear of losing a lover who has not committed to marry you, and either heartbreak or the guilt of having deeply hurt or used another person.

Choose greed for power and then after you have backstabbed, scratched, and clawed to get to the top by climbing over the backs of good people, what will you have reaped? Power, yes. But people will resent you. They will be afraid of you, but they will not respect you. They will avoid you, and secretly (and justly) criticize you behind your back. Your only friends will not be true friends at all, for they will only be using you to get what they want.

Choose greed for money and after you have cheated others, stolen, skirted the law, underpaid your workers, overcharged for your products or services, or worked too many long hours, what will you have gained? Possessions and money, maybe, if it works. For most it doesn’t work. But work too many long hours and you will hardly know your family, and they will resent you. Overcharge and your customers will resent you. Get caught stealing or breaking the law and you will go to jail. Even if you are not caught, you will always be anxious that perhaps one day you will be caught. Your underpaid workers will also resent you. And what about that money and possessions? Ill-gotten gains tend to take wings and fly away! The more you own, the more you must take care of. And one thing about those who have big houses on huge tracts of land: they have isolated themselves, so that they live alone. Lastly, when you die, can you take any of it with you?

I could go on, but you get the picture. God’s moral commandments are meant to save us from pain like this. He gave them to us in love. As a Biblical counselor, I have counseled people who are filled with regret over the sins of their past. How they wish they could undo what they have done! How they wish they could live their life over again! But they cannot.

Oh, seek God when you are young! Then you will spare yourself so much pain, heartache and guilt. Make the most of your young years by living for God! Do not waste them. If you waste them, you will lose that chance forever. Seek God, and you will find that the pleasures of this world pale in significance to the joy and pleasure He gives. They are like cheap junk food compared to the healthy, organic, delicious, real food of God. Oh taste, and you will see that the Lord is good!

Be among the precious few who seek God when they are young. You will have so much more treasure in heaven waiting for you. Unlike the treasures of this earth which tarnish and break, can be stolen, and ultimately must be left behind, these treasures will last forever.

As to earthly fame, power, pleasures and possessions, Jesus said, “What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?

Choose God’s way, for although it is the uphill path, it is the only one that leads to the top of the mountain, where when you are old you can relax and enjoy the beautiful view of a life well-lived for God.

HAVE YOU REALLY BEEN SAVED, OR DID YOU HAVE A FALSE CONVERSION?

Yesterday I had a long discussion with a fellow who said that he had a couple of false conversions to Christ, but his life did not change much afterwards. In the first he was encouraged to pray a sinner's prayer. In the second, he was encouraged to "commit" his life to Christ, repenting for His sins.

He had just concluded a study of what is required to be saved, and I believe that he had come to the correct conclusions, for they matched the understanding God also has given me from reading His word. So what was wrong with his previous "conversions"?

A Sign of False Conversion

First of all, His life did not really change. Jesus made it clear that a sign of a true child of God is the fruit they bear:

"No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit." (Luke 6:43)

True children of God have been regenerated, or "born again" by God's Holy Spirit. God changes their character and adopts them as his own children. Once, their life was characterized by constantly living in sin, which is bearing bad fruit. Now, it is characterized by the desire to love, fellowship with, obey and please God.

So a lack of change was the warning sign that something went wrong with his previous conversions. But what was it specifically that went wrong?

How Are we Truly Saved?

The Bible makes it very clear that we are saved by grace through faith, and not by our deeds:

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (NIV, Ephesians 2:8-10)

Notice that it says we are saved by grace. Grace is God's undeserved mercy and favor. This means that salvation is bestowed on us as a free gift that God gives to us in compassion, love and mercy. You don't have to earn it. You do not owe Him "a debt you can never repay" after you receive it, for then He would be selling it to you. It is a free gift, and should be received as a free gift.

Next, notice that this grace comes to us "through" or by means of faith.

What is faith? The book of James makes it clear to us that true saving faith is more than just believing that God exists, or having correct beliefs about Him:

"You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that--and shudder." James 2:19

True faith is trusting in Christ:

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16)

Why Believing God Exists Alone Will Not Save You

Suppose you heard about a fellow who had the reputation of being the best personal trainer in town. You and your best friend believed that, so you both hired him. But when the trainer gave you guidance, you thought you knew better ways to do things, so you did not follow his instructions. Your best friend did follow his instructions, though. Then three months later, when you and your friend looked at yourselves together in the mirror, it became apparent that you had not made nearly as much progress as your friend had.

So what was wrong with your belief in this trainer? You believed he was the best personal trainer in town, but you did not trust Him. In other words, you did not really believe IN him. If you had, you would have followed his instructions. That is the difference between true saving faith and mere intellectual assent or belief. True saving faith is transformative. God makes a new creation out of you. It also results in obedience. You are not saved BY that obedience, for Paul makes it very clear that we are not saved by our deeds. However, obedience, or bearing good fruit, is a SIGN that you had true saving faith. The branch really cannot take credit for the fruit it bears, for if you were to cut the branch off, it would stop bearing fruit. So clearly, it owes it's fruit to the sap that flows in from the trunk, not to itself. Likewise, the "good fruit" that a born-again child of God bears—good deeds—are enabled by God, so God deserves the credit for them. That is why when those who are born-again get to heaven we will cast our crowns, which will be among the rewards for our good deeds, back before God in worship, for He is the one who truly deserves the credit for them.

How an Incorrect View of Repentance Can Result in a False Conversion

Lastly, this fellow I spoke with had a false view of repentance. Yes, repentance is required for salvation, but what exactly IS it?

If repentance were God requiring that get our life straightened out before he will save us, that would be a work, would it not? That would mean that we must earn our salvation by our works, wouldn't it?

Sure enough, our suspicion is correct, for when we check the Greek dictionaries, we find that that the Greek word for repentance, metanoēsate, simply means a change of mind. In this case, it is a change of mind that results in turning to God in trust to save you from your sins:

"Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord." (NIV, Acts 13:19)

There are two kinds of unbelievers:

1. Those who know they are sinning, but love sin more than God and want to stay in sin, and

2. Self-righteous people, who either deny that they are sinning, or think that they are "good enough" to merit salvation.

So repentance is not pulling yourself out of sin in order to get saved, for that would be a work, and the Bible makes it clear that we are not saved by works.. That would be like a lifeguard cruelly telling a drowning man, "You need to get your act together before I am going to save you." Rather, true repentance is a change of mind that results in trusting in Jesus to save you from your sins. So if you have been trying to save yourself, isn't it obvious that you are drowning? Call to the lifeguard for help, and trust Him to carry you to the shore.

Like Salvation, the Faith to be Saved is a Free Gift

Lastly, notice that Paul tells us faith (trust) is a gift of God. You do not have to work up faith within yourself. It is a free gift. Ask God for a saving faith or trust in Jesus, and He will give it to you.

Jesus said,

"Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." (NIV, Matthew 17:20)

Not many of us have enough faith to move mountains, or if we ever do, have that kind of faith for very long. So obviously, most of us have very small faith.

However, we are not saved by faith, but rather through it, according to Ephesians 2:8 above. Just as a profound message can come to us through a very weak little wire, the profound gift of salvation by grace can come to us through the faith we have in Jesus, even if we are yet too weak to hold a faith that moves mountains. Just call to Jesus to save you, and trust Him to do it with what little faith you can hold.

We Cannot Work Up Saving Faith or Earn Salvation; Both Must Be Received As a Free Gift

The faith to be saved is a free gift that comes from God. Salvation is a gift from Him. You do not earn salvation by saying a prayer. Only grace will save you through faith, though that can be expressed in a prayer asking God to save you. Nor can you earn salvation by committing your life to Jesus. He will enable you to do that as or after He saves you. You cannot earn salvation by straightening your life out first, either. God will enable you to straighten your life out after He saves you, and with all of us, that's a process God will not totally complete until we get to heaven, for even the Apostle Paul wrote, “Brethren, I count not myself to have arrived.” Once you are saved, you will begin growing, but it takes time for children to grow to maturity. That doesn’t mean that you can sin and get away with it, for like all good parents, God disciplines His children when they sin. But it does mean that like all newborn children, you will have growing to do and may find yourself stumbling before you learn how to walk and run. If you stumble, stop sinning and confess that sin to Jesus. He will forgive you.

A wonderful benefit of being in Jesus is that it will be Christ’s righteousness that will clothe you, not your own. So once you have become born-again, put on those beautiful, spotlessly clean robes and wear them.

Salvation is ALL God's work, not yours, for it is a free gift that He gives to you in His love, mercy and compassion for you. You have but to receive the gift in trust. In fact, God will only grant it as a free gift.

What are You Waiting For?

So, if you have not done it yet, or had a false conversion in the past, what are you waiting for? Call out to the Lifeguard to save you from drowning. Trust Him, and let Him save you. He is faithful. He will do it.

The Free Gift That Eternally Quenches Thirst

If you are a believer in Jesus, an amazing gift lies within you, for Jesus said,

"And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth." (John 14:16-17a)

The word translated "advocate" in this verse is the Greek word paraklétos. The role and meaning of a paraklete in the time of Jesus was to be an advocate, intercessor, consoler, comforter, or helper. All of these things are what the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us by the Father, has been sent to us by Jesus to do for us.

When Does a Christian Receive the Holy Spirit?

Each Christian receives the Holy Spirit when He comes to faith in Jesus:

"For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body--whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free--and we were all given the one Spirit to drink." (I Corinthians 12:13)

If you have placed your trust in Jesus, then you have been given the Spirit to drink. Jesus spoke of that drink when he said to the woman at the well,

"Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (John 4:14)

What Does it Mean to be Filled With the Spirit, and to be Baptized With the Spirit?

We are commanded in the Bible to be filled with the Spirit.

“Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit.” (Ephesians 5:18–19a)

Being filled with the Spirit means to be led, guided by, and empowered by the Spirit to live for God.

Being baptized with the Spirit is the first time that you are filled with the Spirit to overflowing, to such an extent that you become immersed in Him, and it is often evidenced by the Holy Spirit granting one or more spiritual gifts to you. (You can read two lists of these gifts in 1 Corinthians 12:1–11 and Romans 12:4–8.) After that, we are commanded to be continually be being filled with the Spirit. It is through being filled with the Holy Spirit that we are able to fulfill the following words that Jesus spoke:

"Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father." (John 14:12)

Allow yourself to be filled with the Spirit to overflowing.

What Is the Secret of Living for God?

How many of us are empty? How many of us are dry? Or living like a plant that is receiving only just enough water to stay alive, with drooping and yellowing leaves? Or constantly falling back into sin?

Just what is the secret of living for God?

The answer is so simple that it escapes far too many of us. There is no great secret or method, unless you consider receiving a free gift to be some kind of a mysterious secret. You see, the ability to live for God comes from receiving a free gift. That gift is the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. To receive it, you must but let the Spirit of God flow into you and allow Him to do his work in you. Don’t get in his way by trying to do His work all by yourself (as far too many of us are prone to do), for you cannot overcome the flesh with the flesh.

You can only overcome the flesh by the Spirit. Only He can renew your spirit. Only He can create a clean heart within you. Only He can renew and transform your mind.

How do We Keep From Sinning?

"I say then, walk by the Spirit and you will certainly not carry out the desire of the flesh." (Galatians 5:16)

To walk by the Spirit is to be sensitive to His leadership, keeping in step with Him.

Do Not Grieve the Spirit

The Spirit is gentle. He will not force you to obey Him. However, He is sensitive and easily hurt. Do not sadden Him by intentionally sinning:

"And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption." (Ephesians 4:30)

Drink Deeply!

Suppose you had dinner at a good friend's home, and he made the kind gesture of honoring the friendship between the two of you by opening an extremely expensive bottle of wine and pouring you a glass. Would you refuse Him?

Hasn't Jesus poured out for us a drink that is even more precious? Don't refuse the Holy Spirit by blocking His flow. Drink.

Drink deeply, and quench your thirst.

Copyright 2020 Marshall “Rusty” Entrekin

3 Techniques to Improve Your Sleep After Loss

(Most of our articles deal with spiritual and Biblical ways to cope with problems, but there are often environmental and activity-based changes you can make that will help, too. In this article, guest writer Sara Bailey shares very helpful practical advice for those finding it difficult to sleep after the loss of a loved one. - Editor)

Image via Unsplash

By Sara Bailey

Trying to sleep with grief is a double-edged sword. When you don't sleep—which is often—fatigue and emotion overwhelm your days. When you do, painful dreams haunt your sleep.

Unfortunately, no one can take your grief away for you, although therapy, support groups, and blogs about grief can help you cope. You can improve your sleep, however, and a well-rested mind is better prepared to deal with the intense emotions of grief.

Improving your sleep during times of acute grief isn't a quick-fix solution, but adopting these three simple strategies can set the stage for restful sleep.

Adopt a self-care habit

Self-care is the first thing that goes when your world is rocked by grief. It’s also the first thing you need when you have trouble sleeping.

Self-care includes basic health-promoting activities like eating well and exercising, as well as activities like meditation that help you feel relaxed and positive. Forgoing self-care allows stress to build and knocks your body out of sync.

Finding ways to nurture your body and mind lightens your grief and helps you sleep. Moving your body is especially important. When you start your day with a run, go on a long peaceful walk with your dog, or attend a fast-paced fitness class, you’re not just clearing your mind or improving your fitness—you’re actively fighting insomnia.

Redesign your bedroom

Bereaved people often experience increased sensitivity to noise and light, Funeral Zone explains. As a result, minor bedroom discomforts become magnified while you’re grieving.

If it’s in the budget, soundproof your bedroom and install blackout shades (Wirecutter names the best options). Otherwise, a sleep mask and white noise machine are inexpensive fixes for distracting lights and sounds. This is also a good opportunity to upgrade that old mattress, lumpy pillow, or threadbare bedding.

If it’s a spouse you lost, your bedroom may hold a lot of painful emotions. Even when memories are good, they can overwhelm us to the point where we can’t fall asleep. Moving your spouse’s personal effects out of the bedroom or sleeping in a guest room may be the right step.

Optimize your sleep schedule

Everyone benefits from a regular sleep schedule, but it’s especially important when you’re experiencing insomnia.

Going to bed at the same time each night trains your body to feel awake and tired at certain hours. However, a regular bedtime may not be enough to ease insomnia. To encourage tiredness at bedtime, avoid stimulating activities like watching TV or exercising too close to bedtime. You should also be mindful of what you eat and drink before bed. In addition to the usual suspects like caffeine and alcohol, the wrong foods before bed could cause gastrointestinal symptoms that disrupt your sleep.

If you keep waking up groggy but don’t know why, sleep tracking devices might be able to help. Gadgets that track your sleep can tell you how much disturbed sleep you’re experiencing at night so you can compensate accordingly. Some devices even learn the best time to wake you to reduce morning brain fog. Just keep in mind that these devices are best used to learn more about your sleep habits. They won’t solve your sleep problems for you.

Sleep loss makes everything harder—and when you're grieving someone you love, the last thing you need is for anything to be harder. Commit yourself to these three sleep improvement strategies to give your body and mind the best shot at a good night's sleep.

---

After losing her husband Greg, Sara Bailey created TheWidow.net to support her fellow widows and widowers. She is also the author of the upcoming book Hope and Help After Loss: A Guide For Newly Widowed Parents.

(Please note that guest writers and PeaceBrooke may not necessarily agree on other subjects outside of the scope of a published article.)

Are You Being Mistreated or Persecuted?

Have you ever been mistreated for being good at something, or just for being nice? Or have you ever been persecuted for your faith and love of God? A new study shows that when people are competing for something, they are more prone to even the playing field by cutting a nice person down, rather than trying to improve themselves. [1] This helps to explain the Bible verse,

Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. (ESV, 2 Timothy 3:12)

This verse makes it very clear that if you try to live for God, you will be persecuted at times. So... what should you do when this happens to you?

Don’t Let a Persecutor Ruin
Your Character—or Steal Your Joy

Just as freshly fallen snow covers imperfections, love covers a multitude of sins. (I Peter 4:8, NIV)

Overlook minor offenses in love. We all make mistakes everyday. None of us is perfect. If you want people to love you despite your faults, extend the same courtesy to them. Just like freshly fallen snow covers up imperfections and creates a beautiful landscape, or makeup causes a woman to look more fair, let your love of others cover up the little personality faults they have.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. (I Peter 4:8, NIV)

But what if someone is sinning against you in a way that just can’t be overlooked? What should you do then? That’s what the rest of this article is about.

Keep loving people. Don’t let an offense stop you from loving others—even enemies—or from being kind to them. If we all tried to get even or developed bitter attitudes when mistreated, think of what a miserable place the world would be!

Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. (NIV, I Peter 4:3)

"You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Do not even tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even Gentiles do the same? (NIV, Matthew 5:43-47)

Keep in mind that God will reward you. The above verses promise that if you return evil with blessing, you will inherit a blessing from God. In the Bible passage below, look for the word “reward.”

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and celebrate, because great is your reward in heaven; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets before you. (NIV,Matthew 5:11-12)

Remember that God takes note of your suffering and will reward you for loving your enemies. This will provide solace and help you to get through a rough period of mistreatment. The apostles took these words of Jesus very seriously. After they were ordered to be flogged by the Jewish Sanhedrin for preaching about Jesus, this is how they reacted:

The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing that they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name. (NIV, Acts 5:41)

Avoid enemies whenever it is practical. Aside from greeting an enemy and going out of your way to be kind to him or her, avoid people who mistreat you if it is possible. When you can’t avoid it, be very careful what you say around them. As Jesus instructed us,

Don't give what is holy to dogs or toss your pearls before pigs, or they will trample them under their feet, turn, and tear you to pieces. (CSB, Matthew 7:6)

Why needlessly punish yourself? If possible, hang around people who treat you well instead.

Practice Redemptive Non-Resistance

Turn the other cheek. Jesus said,

It is not easy to turn the other cheek, but Jesus commanded it as a means of leading a persecutor to repentance.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.” (NIV, Matthew 5:38-41)

When someone hurts you or takes something from you, one of the most effective ways to get to that person’s conscience is to offer that person more. But when you do it, do it kindly.

Notice also what Jesus did not say. You do not have to walk three miles, or give everything you own to the person who sues you for your shirt. The point is to make a point by your generosity. This is what we might call redemptive non-resistance.

Notice also that Jesus did not say, “Turn the other cheek over and over again.” Again, I think that the point here is to make a point. The idea is not to encourage more abuse; it is to use a daring, self-sacrificing act to bring an end to the abuse by arousing pangs of conscience in the other person.

Being slapped in the cheek is one thing. It stings, but it does not do much damage. But being seriously harmed in a way that might do permanent damage (fist-punched, for instance) is quite another thing. Also, even if someone is striking you with an open palm, enough force can be applied that it becomes a hit rather than a slap. There’s a difference. Jesus did not say that you are obliged to expose yourself again to that.

So, how many times should you turn the other cheek? Be a wise judge of how much you should sacrifice for the sake of the other person, and appeal to the Holy Spirit for guidance. If it becomes obvious that your non-resistance is just feeding the evil, I would advise you to try another means of bringing the oppression to an end.

You might be thinking, “Then why did Jesus say, ‘Do not resist an evil person?’ And what exactly did He mean by that?”

I think that we can definitely conclude from this passage that we should not fight back against a personal attack with “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.” If someone knocks out your tooth, do not try to knock out his tooth, too. In other words, do not take vengeance or try to be the judge, jury, and executor of justice.

Also, note that avoiding something is not resisting. Ducking a pot furiously thrown at you by an angry wife is not resisting.

But what about defending yourself non-violently, such as putting up your arm to block a fist-punch? Or trying to persuade the other person to stop? Is that kind of resistance OK? I believe so, and here’s why. I think we can tell from the context here, and from other examples in the life of Jesus, that He was instructing us to use a certain kind of non-resistance within a certain kind of context.

• The kind of non-resistance Jesus was speaking of is redemptive non-resistance. It’s the kind that encourages the other person to repent.

• The context Jesus was talking about is one-on-one relationships, when someone hurts you in a minor way or tries to unjustly take something from you legally. (It was legal, for instance, for a Roman soldier to demand that you carry his pack for a mile, or to sue someone.)

Here are some things that are outside of the context Jesus was speaking of:

• Someone attacking an innocent person.

• A rape attempt, murder attempt, or violent attack against you or someone else.

• A kidnapping attempt.

• A husband beating his wife.

• A thief breaking into your home.

In each of the above instances, you have every right to resist the evil. If you can do it in a non-violent way, that is preferable.

Other exceptions are the following:

• A policeman enforcing the law.

• A soldier defending the women and children of his country.

This is made very clear by the following Bible verse:

“For the one in authority is God's servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for rulers do not bear the sword for no reason. They are God's servants, agents of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. “ (NIV, Romans 13:4)

The goal behind not resisting a person who slaps you on the cheek is to cause that person to stop being evil. It is not to encourage the proliferation of evil. Exercise redemptive non-resistance in personal relationships, but do not exercise the kind of non-resistance that encourages evil to run wild and unchecked.

If you are not so sure that Jesus was talking only about redemptive non-resistance, perhaps what I am about to say next will persuade you.

How Jesus Handled a Slap in the Face

Expose injustice when attacked publicly. If someone attacks you in public out of jealousy, you can expose the injustice for everyone to see. Then the attacker looks bad, not you. For instance, consider how Jesus responded to a man who slapped him in the face:

When Jesus said this, one of the officials nearby slapped him in the face. “Is this the way you answer the high priest?” he demanded. “If I said something wrong,” Jesus replied, “testify as to what is wrong. But if I spoke the truth, why did you strike me?” (NIV, John 18:23)

Nip offenses in the bud, before they become a habit or have a chance to grow worse.

Nip offenses in the bud. Though the text does not record it, I’m sure Jesus turned the other cheek when that man did this. That man could have struck Jesus again. In this regard, Jesus practiced redemptive non-resistance. But notice that despite that, Jesus did protest. He spoke up for himself!

Following the above example of Jesus, the very first time someone mistreats you in a way that you do not want to live with, try to nip it in the bud with a protest, before it becomes a habit or gets worse. Immediately let that person know they have crossed a boundary line.

Mind you, do not strike back. Just point out the injustice and how the action made you feel. Though we are commanded to turn the other cheek when an enemy slaps us, that does not mean we cannot protest, "Ouch! That hurt! Why did you do that?" as Jesus demonstrated for us here.

Once, when I was a young man working at a print shop, my boss yelled at me over something very minor. “What is that?” he angrily yelled at me, pointing at a shelf.

I tried to figure out what he was talking about but could not. “I’m not sure what you are talking about,” I respectfully said.

“That!” he angrily yelled again, pointing at a stack of paper. Finally, I realized that he was talking about a few sheets of paper that were badly misaligned on top of an otherwise neat stack! (I had earlier used that paper for a print job, and must not have put it back neatly.)

I did not resist by yelling back, and immediately apologized and straightened out the sheets of paper. But right away, I asked to speak privately with him and calmly said, "Look, I am simply not going to work for someone who yells at me. If you want me to keep working for you, I would not do that again."

He valued me as an employee and realized he had made a mistake, so he apologized, and did not do it again for months. Then it happened one more time and my response was the same but even more emphatic. He apologized again, and it never happened again.

So turning the other cheek does not preclude trying to get the offender to stop. Jesus protested after he was slapped on the cheek. And he did it after the very first slap.

Again, remember that the goal of redemptive non-resistance is to stop people from doing evil things. It is not to allow evil to run wild and unchecked.

How to Confront an Offender

Confront your brother or sister in the Lord privately.

Confront brothers and sisters privately. Sometimes, as in the above example when Jesus was publically slapped in the face by an unbeliever, it is appropriate to confront your offender publicly. In fact, in that situation Jesus had no choice but to confront the man publicly. But when it comes to a brother or sister in the Lord with whom you have a personal relationship, the confrontation should usually be done privately.

Why? For one thing, consider the Golden Rule that Jesus gave us, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Would you want someone to correct you publicly if it could be avoided?

But secondly, since a public confrontation means disgrace, a person is more likely to defend themselves and refuse to acknowledge wrongdoing if corrected in public. Once again, your goal is not to attack back but to encourage repentance.

If your brother sins against you, go and confront him privately. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. (BSB, Matthew 18:15)

This passage is talking about personal interactions between believers. If the offender is not a believer and obviously will not listen to you, depending on the situation, it may not be the best strategy to speak with that person privately first. It might be best to go straight to a person in authority, such as a boss or a teacher instead. But if that person is a believer, Jesus instructed us to try a private confrontation first. When you confront the offender, try to keep the following things in mind:

1. Be specific. If someone is seriously mistreating you, make a note of each offense right after it happens, when it is still fresh on your memory. Save evidence such as emails. That way you can point to specific instances in which an offense happened. This is especially important if the mistreatment is happening at work. Why? Because people often deny wrong-doing. “When did I ever do that to you?” is a common response. Since you will have recorded what happened, you can then tell your persecutor the exact time and place that the offense happened. Besides, if that person refuses to repent, you’ll need some evidence to follow the next step.

   This advice should not be used in violation of I Corinthians 13:5, which tells us “Love keeps no record of wrongs.” Surely this means that we should keep no record of serious wrongs once someone has repented, for we must recall a wrong that we have recorded in memory in order to confront someone about it. However, I would also say that it means you should try to avoid thinking much about how a person has wronged you until it is time to confront them. The notes you have taken should only be used if needed, as a tool during confrontation, not as a means to keep accusing someone, to keep reflecting an how badly a person has treated you, or to keep holding sins over someone’s head. Don’t look at or even think about what’s on that list unless and until you need it.

   Once your brother or sister repents, you should forgive and chose to remember their sins no more. Then you should shred and throw away those notes. The only exception to this might be in a work or legal situation, in which case you might want to hold on the list just long enough to make certain that the repentance was genuine. Then shred your notes and and throw them away.
   

2. Meet In Person. Emails, social media messaging and text messages can easily be misunderstood because you can’t hear voice intonations or see facial expressions. Phone conversations are better, but you still cannot see facial expressions. So why run the risk of misunderstandings, which are very likely to happen when there’s tension in the air? If you cannot meet in person, try Skype or some other form of video conferencing. But even video conferencing has a drawback: it’s much more difficult to refuse someone who is truly right in front of you. So meet in person if you can.
   

3. Be gentle. Rebuke someone harshly, and he or she might get defensive.
   
   “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.” (NIV, Galations 6:1)
   

4. Sandwich the confrontation between true complements. Truthfully complement the offender for some good quality, confront concerning the sin, and then truthfully complement again. This preserves the other person’s dignity and makes it easier for them to repent. This is part of the art of gently confronting someone.
   

5. Do not condemn or label. Only state the facts and your feelings. Do not say, “You are so mean!” or something similar. Instead, say something like, “Do you remember when you did [the offense]. Do you realize how that [made me feel, affected me, etc].
   

6. Admit your own weaknesses. Be prepared for the other person to attack you back in self-defense. If he or she points out something legitimate or even somewhat legitimate, apologize for anything you have actually done wrong and ask for forgiveness. But do not let your offender off the hook. Get back to the point quickly.
   
   If you think the other person is just making up a false accusation against you in self-defense, then unless the accusation is something serious, you could say, “I do not recall doing that, but if I did I apologize.” Your display of humility will help the other person to repent.
   
   If the false accusation is something serious, you could say, “I wouldn’t ever want to treat you or anyone else like that! I care about you too much! Wow, if I had done that, I would definitely want to apologize. But even if I had done that, since two wrongs don’t make a right, we need to finish discussing the topic at hand first. Then we can discuss the subject you brought up if you still want to.”
   

7. Forgive. If the offender truly repents, forgive them. Complete forgiveness means choosing not to remember, because the Lord said,

For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more. (NIV, Hebrews 8:12)

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (NIV, I Corinthians 13:4-7)

What a relief it is when wrongs are admitted and repented of, and forgiveness freely granted! Keep in mind that complete forgiveness means choosing not to remember.

What if Your Persecutor Will Not Repent?

Get One or Two Witnesses. If the offender refuses to admit wrongdoing or repent, get one or two witnesses to speak to that person along with you. These should be mature believers in the Lord, if possible. If the offender goes to your church and the offense is serious, you can bring along your pastor or another leader in the church. If the offending believer is a coworker, that witness should be your boss or the HR director. In such a case, a good idea (and I say this based on experience) is to follow this next step VERY quickly. Otherwise, a believer who is immature and carnal enough to mistreat you may not hesitate to circumvent you by going to the boss ahead of you to make you look bad, thus wronging you twice-over! This means you should choose the timing of the first confrontation very carefully.

But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, regard him as you would a pagan or a tax collector." (NIV, Matthew 18:16-17)

Take it to the church. If the person who has wronged you is a church-goer but refuses to listen to you or your witness(es), if the offense is serious enough you can take the problem to his or her pastor or elder. They should take it from there.

Flee Persistent Persecution. Sometimes we simply cannot stop persecution, no matter how hard we try. If the offender is a coworker and your boss does nothing to help, ask to meet again and explain that the situation is getting intolerable. If that fails you can go to HR or over the boss's head, or look for a new job. This might mean a cut in pay, but is that extra money really worth living in sheer misery? Jesus did not want us to suffer needlessly. That's why He said,

"When you are persecuted in one place, flee to another. Truly I tell you, you will not finish going through the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes."

Many Christians have died or been imprisoned needlessly because they did not obey this command of Jesus. Though Jesus said not to resist an evil person, fleeing is not resistance. If you are in imminent danger of being arrested or thrown into prison, no home, business, possessions or profession is worth losing your life or your freedom for.

Regarding this, if you live in a place where Christians are being persecuted, it’s a good idea to have an escape plan in place ahead of time. Have extra belongings, food and convertible money set aside in advance for you and your family. Plan your escape route and where you will go in advance, if possible. If you have financial assets, it might be wise to transfer them to a place where they will be safe. Your persecution escape plan could also help you should you ever need to evacuate due to a natural disaster or war.

You can also do things to prevent disaster. For instance,. if the homes of Christians are being burned down, put in smoke detectors or better yet, move to a house of brick or stone. If people are invading churches and killing innocent people, hire security guards. If Christians are being attacked and raped, avoid traveling alone, carry mace or pepper spray, or if you are a woman, make sure that an able-bodied man is with you.

If your spouse is physically or verbally abusing you, or you believe he or she is about to harm you, you do not have to live in abuse or fear. There are domestic abuse ministries for women and even for men that can easily be found with a quick internet search. Call for one of them for counseling or advice. Though you do not have Biblical cause for divorce unless your spouse has cheated on you or leaves you for someone else, if the abuse is serious you can go someplace safe (the home of a relative, friend, or shelter) and wait and pray for signs of true repentance.

When You Cannot Escape Persecution

Enjoy the consolations of God. If you cannot escape the persecution, remember that God draws close to those who are brokenhearted. So enjoy His near presence and let Him console you:

After being unjustly thrown into jail, rather than indulging in a pity party, Paul and Silas enjoyed the nearness of God, praying and singing hymns to God. You can read the account in Acts 16:16-40.

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18)

After being thrown unjustly into prison, Paul and Silas enjoyed God’s nearness. They prayed and sang hymns to God. (Acts 16:16-40)

Give your cares and anxieties over to God. Let your joy come from knowing Him, not from circumstances.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (NIV, Phillipians 4:6-7)

Do not accept false guilt. Your persecutor may try to make you feel like you are the guilty one, and that his or her mistreatment of you is your fault. But what is happening reflects a heart problem in your persecutor, not you.

Dwell on good things instead of how you are being wronged. Try not to dwell on the mistreatment. Dwell on your blessings instead. What blessings? Even in the worst of situations, there can be little blessings to be thankful for. Also, think about the great rewards you will receive in heaven for being persecuted. God will make those rewards worth much more than all of your pain! Then consider the rewards you will receive for your good deeds. God will reward you even for a glass of water given in His name! Also, think about your friends and family who love you and are praying for you. Think about the blessings and joys of the past that God so graciously gave you to enjoy.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. (NIV, Phillipians 4:89)

Pray for your persecutor. Ask your friends to pray for your him or her, too. Also ask them to pray for you.

Don’t take vengeance. Do just the opposite. Go out of your way to do good things for your enemy.

Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but leave room for God’s wrath. For it is written: “Vengeance is Mine; I will repay, says the Lord.” On the contrary, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink. For in so doing, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." (NIV, Romans 12:19-20)

There are very good reasons for this:

1. It’s how you overcome evil. You do not fight evil with evil. That just breeds more evil. You fight evil with good.

2. It leaves room for God’s wrath. If it is needed, God can discipline someone much more effectively than you can. Leave discipline in His capable hands.

3. It heaps burning coals on your persecutor’s head. What in the world does that mean? Commentator Adam Clark believed this was referring to the ancient practice of refining silver. Hot coals were piled on silver in a crucible, and when the metal melted, impurities rose to the top. Then the impurities were skimmed away, or a hole in the bottom of the pot was opened, and pure silver flowed out. If Clarke was right about that, and I tend to think he was, this means that being good to your enemy painfully highlights his or her sins so that hopefully, he or she will repent. Concerning this, Samuel Wesley wrote,

So artists melt the sullen ore of lead,
By heaping coals of fire upon its head;
In the kind warmth the metal learns to glow,
And pure from dross the silver runs below.

Allow the persecution to purify you, too. Persecution turns the heat up and causes the hidden impurities that are in our own hearts to come to the surface. We have to deal with the feelings of anger, bitterness, depression and unforgiveness that rise to the surface. Don’t let those impurities stay there. Then the metal of your character will look even worse than it did before! Confess them to God and let Him forgive you and skim them all away. In that regard, your enemy is unknowingly doing you a great favor. He or she may intend it for harm, but God is using the occasion to purify you. Why?

First of all, because He has chosen you to be one of His very own treasures! Keep in mind that the most valuable treasures are made only with precious metals that are pure and refined.

Not 10K gold.
24K gold!
Not a silver alloy.
Sterling!

Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried and chosen you in the furnace of affliction. (Amplified, Isaiah 48:10)

Secondly, because when Jesus returns, God will bestow praise, glory and honor on those whose faith stands the test. And for some reason, if you are undergoing persecution, God wants to give those wonderful things to you!

These [trials] have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. (NIV, I Peter 1:7)

So, please don’t think that the mistreatments you have endured mean that God does not love you. Quite the contrary; He dearly loves you, and has much greater things planned for you than if you did not have to endure affliction.

If you are undergoing persecution or mistreatment, you are not alone. In fact, more Christians are being persecuted now than at any time in history. These are the true heroes of our faith, especially those who have been imprisoned, tortured, or given their lives for Jesus. Their reward in heaven will be great. God is calling you to be heroic and faithful, too.

May our kind and loving Lord comfort you and fill you with His grace and peace.

Rusty Entrekin
Biblical Counselor
Rusty is the founder & owner of PeaceBrooke Biblical Counseling, LLC

Please feel free to write if you are being persecuted or mistreated and want us to pray for you and your oppressor. Write to rusty@peacebrooke.org.

[1] http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0956797617752642

Are You a Christian Suffering From Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts (OCD)? Here's Some Biblical Advice to Help You Overcome Them.

All Christians have unwanted intrusive thoughts from time to time. A typical reaction to them is "Ugh! How could I have thought something so awful?"

Most of the time, we can shrug off bad thoughts, and turn our minds to other things.  But sometimes, bad thoughts keep coming back, even though we do not want to be thinking them.  With most people this is only temporary, and the unwanted thoughts will eventually go away.  But it is still very distressing, so if you will read on, I will share with you some Biblical techniques that will hopefully enable you to quickly get them out of your mind.

OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)

When unwanted thoughts beset someone for an abnormally long period of time, this condition is known as OCD, or obsessive compulsive disorder.  Why is it called this?  

Bad thoughts that someone cannot get out of his or her mind are called obsessions. But that’s really a misnomer, because no one suffering from OCD wants to be thinking such thoughts.  Furthermore, if the unwanted thoughts happen to involve harming someone, no one with OCD alone ever carries out such thoughts.  They truly do not want to be thinking those thoughts, so it is much more accurate to call them intrusive thoughts, or unwanted thoughts.

The things that people may do to get relief from persistent unwanted thoughts (such as constantly washing their hands if they cannot stop thinking about germs) are called compulsions.  Though most people do not want to talk about why they engage in strange compulsive actions, you might be surprised at just how often an unwanted thought is behind a compulsion!  (Not everyone who suffers from unwanted thoughts engages in compulsive acts, though.) 

When there‘s a religious or moral motivation behind an OCD compulsion, then that form of OCD is called scrupulosity.

Is a Neat Person “OCD”?

Nowadays, we often call someone who is neat or organized “OCD.”  When we do that however, we are actually misusing the term to describe someone who is just very disciplined.  Usually, self-discipline is a good thing!  It’s only when a habitual act becomes excessive, irrational, impractical, harmful or socially awkward that it might be considered an unhealthy compulsion.  That kind of compulsion often does have an unwanted thought, a misinformed belief, or an unhealthy fear behind it.

My Own Experience with OCD

Back when I was in college, I had an episode of OCD that was so severe I had to drop out of school. My parents took me to a Christian psychiatrist but he misdiagnosed me and as a result, his treatment was not only ineffective at helping me but I suffered terrible side-effects from the drugs that he prescribed. But God had mercy on me, and in answer to the prayers of my family, friends, and other believers, I was delivered from OCD. It happened after I came to a fuller understanding of a single Bible verse!  Jesus said, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free,” and I am a living testimony of the veracity of those words.

At first, I was ashamed of what had happened to me and did not want to share it with anyone.  But years later, I decided to share the scriptural truth that God used to heal me, and other related truths I had come to understand, in a couple of online articles, in the hope of helping other OCD sufferers.  When I began to consistently receive emails from people telling me how the articles had helped them, it then became apparent that God had allowed me to go through that terrible suffering so that I could help others.

Soon others also began writing to me desiring more help, and since I am a licensed minister with theological training, I have been providing biblical, pastoral counseling by email and phone to Christians suffering from OCD for over a decade now.  I have also just begun to offer biblical counseling for OCD by secure video conference.  So far nearly all of my counselees have reported to me that it has helped a lot, and some say that it has helped them tremendously.  (It’s legal for ministers to offer counseling based on Biblical doctrine in private practice in Georgia, the state where I reside.) 

I am going to share with you an overview of the most important principles that I share with my counselees who have OCD. Hopefully, when intrusive thoughts come, these principles will allow you to get them out of your mind very quickly.

What to Do When Unwanted Thoughts Come

All of us have unwanted thoughts to come now and then.  When that happens, here’s how to deal with them from a scriptural perspective.  OCD feeds on fear, guilt, and misunderstandings of God and scripture, so the Biblical principles I’m about to share with you are intended to address each of those problems.

1. Recognize that unwanted thoughts are intrusive because you don’t want to be thinking them.

The Apostle Paul wrote in Romans 7:20,

“Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.”

Paul had just finished speaking of his own struggle with covetous thoughts in Romans 7:7-11, so more than likely, he had intrusive thoughts especially in mind when he wrote this. By this, Paul did not mean that we are responsible for sinning when we have intrusive thoughts. Though the content of intrusive thoughts is often sinful, this does not mean that you are responsible for sinning when an unwanted thought flashes through your mind. What Paul was referring to when he said “it is sin living in me that does it” is that when we do something wrong that is genuinely against our will, then it is the law or principle of sin that is at work in our fallen fleshly natures which is the cause of it. This is not at all the same thing as intentionally doing something and then saying you could not help yourself. Rather, it is a symptom of our slavery to sin and our inability to set ourselves free from it without God’s help.

Suppose that you were a married person who had an involuntary muscle twitch in one eye. It caused you to wink, and once someone of the opposite sex misinterpreted that involuntary wink, thought that you were flirting, and assumed that you were an immoral person. It looked bad when it happened, but were you morally accountable for it? Of course not. You should think of an unwanted intrusive thought in the same way. God will not condemn someone with OCD for thinking something that they do not want to think, any more than He would condemn someone with schizophrenia for hearing voices. There is no need to confess an intrusive thought. God will not condemn you for it any more than he would condemn you for a muscle twitch. You can ignore it.

This, along with the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross for our sins, is why Paul concluded in Romans 8:1,

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.’

2. If you think that the thought involved some intentional sin on your part, confess it silently to God, and then rest assured that God has forgiven you for it.

This is because 1 John 1:9 says,

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us for our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Many people are concerned that they have committed the unpardonable sin in their thoughts or speech, but according to this verse, the only sin which is unforgivable is one that is not confessed. Remember that all of God’s word is true, including this verse. This means that if someone truly has committed the unpardonable sin, he or she will not confess it.

If the unwanted thoughts are coming frequently or rapid-fire, you do not have to spend all your time confessing.  You can confess them periodically instead, as a group.

3. Recognize that if you have placed your trust in Jesus, you have already received eternal spiritual life, and will not be condemned by God for the unwanted thoughts:

“I tell you the truth, those who listen to my message and believe in God who sent me have eternal life. They will never be condemned for their sins, but they have already passed from death into life.” (NLT, John 5:24)

4. Recognize that no true follower of Jesus will ever perish.

That’s what Jesus promised us in John chapter 10:

"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all ; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand." (NIV, John 10:27-29)

That means that unwanted thoughts will not cause you to fall away from God and perish in hell.

5. Don’t wrestle with unwanted thoughts.

Should you wrestle with a grenade, or take cover from it?  Wrestle with unwanted thoughts and you may very well find yourself in a losing battle, because ironically, sometimes the harder you try not to think something, the more difficult it is not to think it.  You cannot actively avoid thinking about something without it being on your mind. That’s one reason why the Bible tells us that we should think about good things:

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.” (NIV, Philippians 4:8)

So, don’t fight OCD thoughts. Think about something good instead.

6. Understand that there are two natures at war within you:

• Your new nature, which is a new creation in Christ:

  
  “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”  (2 Corinthians 5:17)
  
  Your new nature is the real you, your redeemed spirit and renewed mind. This is the part of you that does not want to be thinking those undesirable thoughts.
  

• Your old fleshly or carnal nature.
  
  This is the old you, and it is often called your flesh or your sinful nature. When you think an unwanted thought, it is not the new you, the new creation, that is thinking it. Rather, it is sin living in your flesh that is thinking that unwanted thought. By nature, your flesh is a slave to sin.  If these ideas seem difficult to accept, then perhaps it will be illuminating to realize that’s exactly what the Apostle Paul said regarding his own struggle with covetous thoughts:
  
  “Now if I do what I do not want to do [referring to him thinking covetous thoughts], it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.”  (Romans 7:20)
  
  Since that unwanted thought comes from sin dwelling within you, God will not condemn you for it, for Paul went on to say,
  
  “So then, I myself in my [redeemed] mind am a slave to God's law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.  Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (NIV, Romans 8:21b-8:1)
  

6. How can I gain victory over my old sinful nature?

I will discuss more aspects of this in a future article, but the two keys Paul goes on to mention in Romans chapter eight are these:

1. Tap into the power of the Spirit of God.

“For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.” (NIV, Romans 8:2)

The law of sin and death is a force, just like the law of gravity is.  It is always trying to pull us down into sin. But just as a bird uses the law of aerodynamics to overcome the law of gravity and fly, you can use the law of the Spirit of life to overcome the law of sin and death. How do you do that?

One day I sat on a cliffside in Oklahoma and watched two eagles soaring effortlessly through the air. Other birds work very hard to fly, but they did not. It seemed as though they were floating as they circled through the air. How did they accomplish this? They were relying on invisible convection currents of air.

We can learn a valuable lesson from those eagles. Just as they relied on rising air to fly, we must rely on the Spirit of God to guide and strengthen us. Quit relying on your own self-effort. Simply relax, and rely on the Holy Spirit to empower you. Though you cannot see him, like the wind, He is there to help you. He will be faithful to do it.

“Even the youths may faint and grow weary, and young men stumble and fall.  But those who wait upon the LORD will renew their strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint.” (BSB, Isaiah 40:31)

Yes, the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. You are free now. You have been released from slavery to sin. But just as a sailor must raise his sails to experience freedom from a powerful ocean current that he cannot out-row own his own, you must harness the wind of the Holy Spirit. He has provided the wind, but you must use it.

So why continue to remain on the ground? Spread those wings to harness the Holy Spirit, who is the mighty Wind of God, and fly!

2. Do not set your mind on fleshly things. Instead, set your mind on the Spirit.

“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. (ESV, Romans 5-8)

Take some time to reflect: What is your mind set on most of the time? Is it set on the things that the Spirit of God wants you to be thinking about? Are you thinking good thoughts? Are you meditating on God’s Word and on doing good deeds? Are you watching clean movies and television shows? Are you fellowshipping with faithful Christians who love God? Is your mind fixated on growing the Kingdom of God, or on your own selfish ambitions? Set your mind on the Spirit, and you will find that intrusive thoughts and temptations will come much less often.

7. Lastly, take care of your mind.

Take time alone with God daily for relaxing, healing, mind-renewing communion with Him. Make sure you get enough sleep. When you are sleepy, your mind is telling you that it needs some time to rest and heal. So why not listen to it? Take a nap if you can, or go to bed early instead of forcing yourself to stay awake. Take a relaxing vacation now and then. Give your anxieties over to God in prayer, and leave them in His trustworthy hands. Hold no grudges; forgive everyone who wrongs you, even if they do not apologize. Unforgiveness needlessly robs you of peace. Don’t work yourself sick if you can help it; trust God to provide for you and take the time you need to for family and friends.

Go easy on things that can over-stimulate your mind, like too much caffeine and excessive video game playing. Avoid illegal drugs that alter your natural brain chemistry, and don’t get drunk or consume too much alcohol. Eat plenty of fresh fruit, raw veggies, raw grains, seeds and nuts just the way God created them. Though I am not suggesting you eat only raw foods, I am convinced that some of the micronutrients in raw foods help the mind and body to heal, but are destroyed by cooking.

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies." (NIV, I Corinthians 6:19-20)

There is much more that I share with my counselees, but I think that this essential advice will help most Christians when unwanted thoughts come. If you need additional help, you can read the following article, which goes into more detail:

Help For Christians Who Have Difficulty Controlling Their Thoughts

If you need to speak with someone personally regarding unwelcome thoughts, I encourage you to find a biblical counselor, minister, or a licensed Christian professional who is experienced and effective at helping people with OCD.  I offer Biblical counseling for OCD via secure online teleconference, meaning you can receive counseling from the comfort of your home.  You can click here to sign up for a counseling session.

Should intrusive thoughts ever come your way, my earnest hope and prayer is that these truths will enable you to quickly shake them off and set your mind once again on the Spirit of God.

Rusty Entrekin
Biblical Counselor
Rusty is the founder & owner of PeaceBrooke Biblical Counseling, LLC

(Your feedback is welcome. Write to rusty@peacebrooke.org.)

Why are so many children of devout Christians turning from God? Here’s a crucial reason that may not have occurred to you.

"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls. When he found one very precious pearl, he went away and sold all he had and bought it." (NIV, Matthew 13:45-46)

Recently, I read an account by a young woman who explained why she turned away from God, despite being raised by homeschooling Christian parents. As I reflected on why she fell away, I realized something that I dearly wish I had more clearly understood long ago, when my children were still young.

To that young woman, Christianity was mostly about hard work and sacrifice. Yes, that is an integral part of the Christian life, but it is not all that there is. Nor is it the most important part of it.

In the parable above that Jesus told of the Pearl of Great Price, what was it that motivated that merchant to sell all he had? It was the Pearl! As Christian parents, we can gain a very, very important insight from that. In fact, this insight may be the very thing that will prevent your children from turning away from God like that young woman did.

Get the mind of your children on the pearl. Don't just talk about the cost of following Christ with your children. Oh yes, this does need to be talked about. Do not neglect it. We must all weigh the cost of being His disciple.

But most importantly, talk about the Pearl! Talk about the long and short-term rewards of following Christ. Talk about the joy that comes from God's presence. How it is worth so much more than the fleeting pleasures of this world. Talk about how wonderful it is to have God as a friend. How God's friendship is worth more than that of any person. Talk about the Father's great love for us, and the privilege of being God's own son or daughter.

Talk about the power of prayer: that God wants to change the very course of future history in response to the requests of his children. Talk about heaven. About the streets of transparent gold, and the mansion thoughtfully prepared for each of us. About the splendorous throne of God, and especially about the amazing glory of the One who sits on it. About the immortal resurrection bodies we will receive that will never get sick or die, that will no longer tempt us, and that will no longer resist obeying God.

Talk about the wonderful peace that comes from knowing that your sins are forgiven. Talk about the wonderful grace of God that is showered on us despite our unworthiness. Talk about the great rewards that come from self-discipline. About the joy that comes from helping others. About how families that love each others are happy, but those that do not are miserable. About WHY it is better to obey God than men. Talk about WHY it is worth trading everything for Jesus. About how God's commands are not intended to deprive us, but to protect us from the tragic consequences of sin and ensure that we will live happy lives.

Get the mind of your children on the Pearl! If your child only hears, "Don't do this!" and "Do that!" and "We must give our all for Christ," but you do not also talk about the rewards, then Christianity is going to seem like a very bad bargain. Then the world is going to seem very attractive.

Why did Jesus endure the cross? Hebrews 12:22 tells us:

"For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

Jesus himself endured the cross for the joy set before Him. God did not expect him to suffer when there was nothing to be gained from it. We can endure a lot when we know there is something worthwhile to be gained from suffering.

So don't just talk about the cost of obeying Christ with your children. Also talk about what they will gain by doing so!

And make growing up in a Christian home enjoyable. It ought to be. There should be more love and joy in our homes than those of unbelievers. Have some fun together! Don't ask your children make sacrifices everyday without hope of any reward. Remind them of how God will reward us at the Bema seat of Christ for the good deeds that we do. Praise and them for their hard work. Reward them tangibly now and then, too.

Also, get your children thinking long-term. Point out the long-term consequences of short-term sinful pleasures: venereal diseases, financial ruin, single motherhood, destroyed health, jail, etc. Help them to understand that God does not forbid premarital sex and other sins because He's a mean old ogre. It’s because he loves us and want to spare us from sorrow and heartache. Remind them of Esau, Lot's wife, and Samson, who traded away the things that were truly important for short-term pleasures.

Teach your children to weigh long term costs and benefits, just like Jesus did:

"What does it profit a man," Jesus said, "if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?"

Then you will greatly increase the odds that your children will want to trade everything they have to obtain that Pearl. In short, make sure that your children understand why following Jesus is a far, far better bargain than anything the world has to offer, and worth sacrificing everything, even one's own life for.

Rusty Entrekin
Biblical Counselor
Rusty is the founder & owner of PeaceBrooke Biblical Counseling, LLC

(Your feedback is welcome. Write to rusty@peacebrooke.org.)

My wife and I raised seven children (and yes, they were all ours). We taught them about Jesus from the time that they were toddlers. Our youngest is now a senior in high school. If you are having a tough time with one or more of your children and could use some counsel from someone who has been there, I would like to help. Click here to sign up for a counseling session.

How to Avoid Being Surprised by Bad Content In a Movie

"I will not set anything worthless before my eyes. I hate the practice of transgression; it will not cling to me." (Psalm 101:3, HCSB)

We must be careful what we watch. That's why my wife and I are in the habit of checking out the content ahead of time of movies that we suspect could be bad.

We use the Internet Movie Database to do that, and highly recommend it. Just go to https://www.imdb.com/, look up a movie, and then click Parental Guide. There you will get an unbiased report of the number of occurrences of sex, nudity, and cursing.

Another great way to learn about the content of a movie is commonsensemedia.org. Go to https://www.commonsensemedia.org/ to explore this excellent resource.

The theme or plot of a movie can be bad even if the content is clean, and that is where reading a review by a fellow Christian can be helpful. We usually go to https://christiananswers.net/spotlight/ for that.

Pureflix provides family-friendly video streaming: Just go to https://pureflix.com/ to check them out.

Faithlife gives you access to thousands of Christian movies, documentaries, and quality teaching. Go to https://connect.faithlife.com/ to learn more.

Hallmark has family-friendly movies, though they are usually less overtly Christian than what you will find on PureFlix. Many of them are chick-flick movies, which appeal to my wife. Go to https://www.hmnow.com/ to subscribe.

I really love sci-fi and adventure movies. But most of them have some bad content, so that has severely limited what I can watch. However, Clear Play, a service that filters sex, nudity, cursing and violence from movies, enables me to watch movies I really would have wanted to see were it not for some bad content.

Clearplay now works with Amazon streaming video. The movies are filtered through a Google Chrome extension, meaning that you must watch them with a device that is capable of using the Chrome browser, such as a laptop or entertainment PC. Go to http://amazon.clearplay.com/ to install the filter. It is free for the first 30 days, and then costs $1 per movie - well worth it!

Clearplay also has a BlueRay player that filters out bad content which you can purchase here:

https://try.clearplay.com/blu-ray-player/

If you use their Blu-Ray player however, I would avoid buying a movie new that you would consider to be bad if it were not filtered. If you really want to see it, buy it used instead, so as not to support the production of such movies. Or rent it for free using a coupon.

Please share this post by clicking the FaceBook icon below so that other Christian families will know about these great resources!

Rusty Entrekin
Biblical Counselor
Rusty is the founder & owner of PeaceBrooke Biblical Counseling, LLC

(Your feedback is welcome. Write to rusty@peacebrooke.org.)

(Note: We are not receiving any commission or financial benefit for linking you to these sources.)

If you are struggling to break away from porn, we can share biblical principles that will help. Click here to purchase a counseling session.

Christian, do you ever feel undeserving of God, heaven or those God has placed in your life? If so, meditate on this:

Moses said, “Please show me your glory.” And He [God] said, “I will make all my goodness pass before you and will proclaim before you My name ‘The Lord.’ And I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy. But,” He said, “you cannot see my face, for man shall not see me and live.”

And the Lord said, “Behold, there is a place by me where you shall stand on the rock, and while my glory passes by I will put you in a cleft of the rock, and I will cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will take away my hand, and you shall see my back, but my face shall not be seen.” (ESV, Exodus 33:18-23)

Moses wanted to see God's glory. But because of our sins, no human being can survive in the face-to-face presence of God the Father. So God placed Moses inside the cleft of a rock, and covered Him with His hand as He passed by. This rock represented Jesus. In Him we are protected from God the Father's justice, which would consume us like a moth who dared to fly too close to a fire. But although the justice of God is a consuming fire, it is important to know that God is also loving, because it was the Father himself who placed Moses in the cleft of the rock.

If you have placed your trust in Jesus, then God has also placed you in the cleft of that Rock. And so, if you are ever plagued with doubt because of your past sins or shortcomings, and feel that you do not deserve heaven or a relationship with God, your spouse, children, or anyone else God has placed in your life, remind yourself of this:

"Yes, it is true that I do not deserve these blessings. But Jesus does, and God has placed me inside of Him. In Christ I have been forgiven for my sins and washed clean from sin. In Him I am safe from the just wrath of God. And if Christ my Rock protects me from that, will He not also keep me safe from all other things? I know that my Father loves me, and that I am of great value in His eyes, because He sent His Son to die for me. The Rock of Ages was cleft for me! And the Father Himself has placed me in the cleft of that Rock and covered me with His hand. Nothing in all of creation is powerful enough to remove that hand. I am safe and secure in Christ. These blessings are now mine because Jesus my Rock deserves them, and I am have been placed by God in Him. Christ, my Rock and my righteousness, now lives in me, and I live in Him."

Rusty Entrekin
Biblical Counselor
Rusty is the founder & owner of PeaceBrooke Biblical Counseling, LLC

(Your feedback is welcome. Write to rusty@peacebrooke.org.)

What Exactly Is God's Grace?

“Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.”

Nearly everyone recognizes this first line to the song "Amazing Grace". But did you ever wonder what it really means? What exactly is grace?

The word "grace" as it is used in the Bible simply means undeserved kindness. When you forgive someone who has wronged you, that’s grace. When you bail a friend out of jail who did something very foolish, that’s also grace.

And so, in the song "Amazing Grace", when the former slave-ship captain John Newton wrote that he’d been saved by grace, he meant that God had saved him solely out of mercy and kindness, and not because he deserved it. But that brings up another question. What did Newton mean when he said that he had been saved?

Being saved is when God comes to live inside of you to be your friend, changes your character, gives you eternal spiritual life, and writes your name in the Book of Life, so that you will be admitted into heaven when you die. The grace that transformed Newton's character truly was amazing, because it changed him from a slave-trader into a kind pastor and abolitionist who fought valiantly for the freedom of slaves.

While most of us have not committed the sin of slave-trading like Newton did, all of us who are accountable have done things that are wrong. None of us is good enough to deserve salvation. In order to be saved, we ALL need God’s undeserved love, mercy and kindness—His grace.

But that raises yet another question, and it is the most important one of all. How do we get God's grace? The Bible teaches us that God’s saving grace is made available to us only through faith (trust) in Jesus. Why is this? Is God narrow-minded? No, and here's why.

You have heard before that God is Love, and He is. But He is also just and holy. He cannot allow sin to go unpunished—and that is for our sake. Just think of the terrible heart-condition that humanity would sink into if we could sin without consequence! That is why all of us get sick and will eventually die. It is the consequence of sin. Death and sickness came upon the entire human race because of the sin of our father Adam, since we were "in" him, or a part of him, when he sinned. This is why innocent children sometimes die who have not yet sinned - because they are descended from mortal Adam.

Well, if one man's sin brought death and sickness to all of mankind, it only seems just that God would allow another man's righteousness to bring life to us, doesn't it? Yes, and that is part of God's plan, but there is another problem. God doesn't just have to deal with Adam's sin. We have all sinned too. No problem is too difficult for God, however. In His great wisdom and love, God came up with a way to solve that problem.

Since the just penalty for sin is eventual death, only someone who is sinless could die for our sins. Otherwise, his death would only be the penalty for his own sins. However, the death of a sinless person who was merely a man would only pay for the sins of one other person. But if that person was also God incarnate, as the Bible teaches us that Jesus was, then the sacrifice of a being of infinite worth would be more than enough to pay for the sins of all of mankind.

Jesus meets all of those requirements. Not only did He die for our sins, but He was sinless. Not only was He sinless, but He was God’s divine son. In Jesus, and in Him alone, God’s love and justice are reconciled.

After the very painful sacrifice that God’s own precious son Jesus suffered for you on the cross, which was done entirely out of love for you, if you were to ask God to save you on the basis of anything else—your belief in your own goodness, your faith in some other religious leader, or your faith in some man-made god, what do suppose God’s answer to you will be?

That’s why the Apostle Paul wrote to the people in the church at Ephesus,

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.” (NIV, Ephesians 4:8-9)

Salvation is not something you can earn by doing good works. If it was, then God would be giving it to you because you deserve it, and that would not be grace, because grace is God's undeserved kindness. Salvation is a free gift—but like all gifts, you must be willing to humbly accept it.

Just like the Ephesians and John Newton, you too can be saved by God’s grace—His undeserved love and favor towards you—through faith in Jesus. So, if you have not already, why not trust in Jesus, and let God perform His transforming work in you, just like he did for John Newton? The world became a much better place after Newton was saved by grace.

But it will become an even better place for those whose lives you touch if you are saved. If not for your sake, then for their sake, place your trust in Jesus—and you too will experience God's amazing grace!

Rusty Entrekin
Biblical Counselor
Rusty is the founder & owner of PeaceBrooke Biblical Counseling, LLC

(Your feedback is welcome. Write to rusty@peacebrooke.org.)

How to Abide In Christ

How do we abide in Jesus, who is The Vine, so that we can bear much fruit? What an important question to ask! Knowing the answer to it will enable you to bear much fruit for God.

The simple answer to two additional questions provides us with the answer to this vital question.

1. What does a branch do to abide in the vine and bear fruit?
   
   It simply allows the sap to flow in and out. Likewise, let the life of the Holy Spirit flow into you. Let Him do His work in you, bringing you to repentance, cleansing you of sin through the blood of Jesus, guiding you, refreshing you, comforting you, and empowering you to live for God.
   

2. Who holds up the branch—the vine, or the branch?
   
   Obviously, it is the vine who holds up the branch. Likewise, the work of abiding is primarily God's work. Your job is simply to allow God to perform his work in you and through you. As you do, much fruit will grow!

What is this fruit Jesus is speaking of? It is healthy fruit that is good both inside and out. It is the fruit of the Holy Spirit: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. This includes good deeds such as leading others to Christ, helping others grow in Christ, acts of kindness, righteousness, and meeting the needs of others. 

Deeds performed without the Spirit will be bad inside, like an apple that looks good on the outside but is brown and distasteful on the inside.

Today and each day thereafter, may we resolve to abide in Jesus, and bear much good tasting  fruit for Him!

Rusty Entrekin
Biblical Counselor
Rusty is the founder & owner of PeaceBrooke Biblical Counseling, LLC

(Your feedback is welcome. Write to rusty@peacebrooke.org.)